Rouge - really?

SOOOOO....apparently I was at Vancouver's premier event of the year (last years invite is the image as I could find no suitable pics available on the net and as we know, no pics of myself at the event will be posted) - the place to see and be seen....be treated like a VIP and experience a very unique event experience - "better than in years before" - the 6th annual Rouge party at Robson Square- an event that gets out the film industry glitterati and wanna-be's strutting their stuff for the Malcolm Perry's of this world.

The Straight published this blurb about the event on Thursday:

Industry types paint the town rouge
Movie Notes By Craig Takeuchi
Publish Date: July 19, 2007
A who's who of the local film industry will transform the Robson Square skating rink into a major networking event. The fifth annual installment of Rouge will feature a bevy of hosts, including actors Babz Chula, Jay Brazeau, Joely Collins, Suleka Mathew, and Gabrielle Miller; creative director Helen duToit and Canadian Images programmer Terry McEvoy from the Vancouver International Film Festival; Whistler Film Festival director Shauna Hardy Mishaw; Brightlight Pictures producers Stephen Hegyes and Shawn Williamson; BC Film Commissioner Susan Croome; Insight Film Studios CEO Kirk Shaw; Leo Awards president Walter Daroshin; media personality Terry David Mulligan; Urban Rush hosts Michael Eckford and Fiona Forbes; and numerous other producers, directors, writers, and industry figures.

I wonder where the press get their attendee lists? Not that I was really looking, but I did not see over half of the people mentioned above....I know for a fact Babz was at her soon to be daughter-in-laws/my good friends engagement party in Montreal...although Gabrielle did look fetching in her gold mini dress and Joely looked equally fab in her new bob and engagement ring...my "date" who was there to network, see and be seen, introduced us.

Now don't get me wrong, I was a teeny bit excited to see Will from Will and Grace, but really - does a Eric McCormack sighting make up for the fact that the dj was worse than a MuchMusic highschool dance party circa 1988, (Please lord, tell me there was some mix up or last minute replacement because no self-respecting Celebrities dj -as advertised-would have spun out the schlock we had to hear before the final hour when a tired but danceable top 40 line-up finally hit the airwaves) the balloon arches reminded my friend of a 1980s wedding he attended and the canapes looked as tired as the bar staff? They were generally overwhelmed and unable to deal with the meandering undulating line-up of desperate party-goers hungry for something to make their surroundings look better - myself included. And those teeny-tiny plastic wine cups? Seriously???? come on...this is the creme de la creme of the Vancouver film scene right? and we can't rent glassware??? or at least have nice throw-away cups? There may be people here from elsewhere - LA....or gasp! - Toronto! and this is what we got to give? That....and a really lame slide show of Rouge years past flashing before us on giant screens in the corners...the couches looked old...and the bathrooms - I suppose those could not be helped due to venue...but more could have been done...Although I love, love, loved the hoola-hoop girl - she was working it - shout out!!!!

Gotta say for $10 less, the All-White Party I attended in June had better food, better music, a better venue and better glassware!!! http://www.jetsetcrew.com/ and they didn't start out as real career-minded party planners...some of those organizers were there - wonder what they thought?

Thing is, I have heard nothing but great things about the event planners Richards and Chan - http://www.richardsandchan.com/ who certainly look they they put on good parties, are respected in their field and I am all about the fellow sistahs as entrepreneurs....so I blame the rain....something must have short circuited the party...lines were crossed, colour combos were replaced...dj's were temporarily 'auditorally' challenged....and noone was told that they should not show up to the party as they would otherwise show up to set --- i.e. in runners, dirty t-shirt and jeans - really - would it kill you to dress up once - it is night time-huh?

Thank god for being there with a group of people I enjoy most heartilly as that can make any situation fun...even the one that begins with "So?....what are you doing now?"...at times a painful and soul-searching question for the used to be full-time, now very part-time actor....but I had an A-list comeback...."Actually, soon I'm opening my own gallery - hope to see you there!" (insert giant Hollywood smile here ;-)

"Right now, you like me!"

OK - it's just a little post - the Sally Field reference is a bit over the top...but it's cool to be acknowledged by someone you don't know. Just goes to show you what your Mom taught you was right - be nice to others and they will be nice to you! Thanx Erin @ bridalwave!

So this is a little shout out from a shout out to http://www.thebridalwave.blogspot.com/ - who posted a bit of my rant on weddings - "The News" (posted July 3rd, below) on their own blog about everything 'weddings' and how to survive them - July 13th.

Once I digest the masses of food consumed at the Croatian Catholic wedding and bridal shower brunch events I went to this weekend, I will perhaps post about those...

The "News".

You know what it's about - you can hear it in their feigned nonchalant yet at the same time exuberant voice:

---" I have nnnnnuuueeewwwzzzz - call me!"

I am getting more and more of these calls - girlfriends with "news"...ahhhhaaa....Well, let's see -

Did you buy a fabulous new pair of shoes?

Get that job/part/position you've always wanted?

Are you travelling some place exotic or cutting your hair really short?

Getting a boob job/starting a fitness regime/getting that tatoo?

Redecorating your apartment/buying a house/moving to another city?

No. No, you are not. What you are doing - is getting married. Your news is that you are GETTING MARRIED. That is the News ...and it is good news - don't get me wrong...love weddings...luv them. In fact, been married - probably in the neighbourhood of ....oh let's say 400 or so times to about 8 or 9 different grooms ...Yep - been there....ooohhh ya. Done that -

IN PRETEND TONY'N'TINA'S LAND!!! www.hoarseraven.com/tony_n_tinas circa '96/'97. When we could all laugh along to the bridezilla and familial stereotypes that we all played out together ...but now those stereotypes are being lived out - albeit downplayed a wee bit and I gotta say that black for bridesmaids is pretty A-list....And I loooove my friends - especially this one. And really, was not ever one of those girls who HAD TO or PLANNED TO be married -with children (not sure I even want to have those) by a certain age...or ever! nop, not me...NE-VER! But you can't help but feel a teensy bit inferior - yes, inferior and shitty. Shitty that you are once again the guest and not the guest of honour. Shitty that another someone you know and love has found the 'one' and you barely know what the 'one' should look like...inferior in that everyone, everywhere has somehow found their way to this archaic and yet still very much sought after 'right of passage'...and you - you have not.

And you cajole yourself with platitudes that when they come along, it will be all that much sweeter, that at least you are persuing other avenues in life that are much more interesting and passion-driven than planning a wedding could ever be....and that you are way better off single - (insert diva air snap here) but what pisses me off the most is that I actually do believe that...I've always believed that. But when confronted with a marriage to witness (or many marriages this year) and applaud - it's hard to - say, perhaps plan an equally socially validating party for all your other life's pursuits - and no, birthdays don't count, everyone has those.

You can't register for the next stage of your life if it doesn't involve a piece of paper legally binding you to someone else - can you? Can you? Can I throw a party for embarking on a new adventure - my own business? Can I have flowers and music and gifts for that?...I'm sure that unless "the one" comes with a title like Baron or Duke or has scads of family money that I won't be doing anything even vaguely wedding-esque - even if we do decide to make it legal. In fact, yesterday I decided there will be no bridesmaids at all! Nop girls - sorry. If someone needs to sign something - that'll be my mom. We'll just show up one day and have done it ...and there'll be some sort of party with mixed CD's by D+G...K+A may sing a song, P may do a reading -perhaps of this post --- and we'll laugh and laugh and sigh - and then we'll all dance and eat - lots of food, seafood and an open bar

- Sidebar: what's with the no open bar at weddings people?!! I came, I got dressed up, I bought a gift, maybe 2...you provide me with booze - got it?

Ok, enough, I'm a little bitter and a little sweet today ...still sweet?...maybe tomorrow I will be more of my matter-of-fact self ;-)

Congratulations! A+D, E+M, J+P!!!

The Summer Party

What smells of summer more than tennis and polo?

Granted I am not enamoured of either pastime, but I'm willing to see who is and pay $50 to do so...especailly if there's a free drink and plenty of food included, not to mention entertainment - and I'm not talking about the music roster...but the parade of skin and bronzer that will no doubt accompany this event. Not as cool as spying Hollywood stars at the Vanity Fair party as I did earlier this year...but just as cheesy.

If there's something I admire its original party planning in the City of Vancouver - http://www.blogger.com/www.jetsetcrew.com where you usually have to be in the know or be part of some niche group in order to experience any real cool event in the City. While Toronto basks in the glory of hosting the largest arts festival in North America this summer, www.luminato.com/ and already boasts a litany of multi-day festivals that block major streets and bring out the mulit-cultural masses, Vancouver tries to decide whether or not it should hold the Fireworks Festival again. All the while making sure noone should dare compliment the experience with a bottle of white - things might get out of hand. I remember marvelling at the mixture of precision and laissez-faire attitude that Toronto's summer festivals were run by - major streets for blocks on end closed to traffic for days...with nary a complaint - enjoyment for the whole family! And here we're applauding the addition of one more day to the Car-Free Festival on Commercial Drive! :-O Wooohooo! http://www.blogger.com/www.thedrive.ca/eventdrivefest.shtm

How the hell are we going to hold the Olympics? While New Yokers encourage the picnic-going public to bring their best bottle of pinot to the park http://www.blogger.com/www.bryantpark.org - Vancouverites are strip searched at the skytrain station before heading down to our internationally-enviable beachfront. In case you have not noticed - I like a nice beverage - and yes, my event doesn't really compare to a festival in a park...but it all relates back to summer...the freedom to enjoy your socializing outdoors - and what accompanies that better than a festive spritzer?

So, yes it is technically behind a gated archway on a manicured lawn at Gabriola Mansion on Davie Street but I am excited for my private party being held on public - or in this case a semi-public venue where you can sip cocktails to your hearts content...no one is going to 'throw one down' and if they do I'd love to see the tennis rackets swinging out against the cricket mallets!

the art of seeming busy OR "Excuse me, I believe you have my stapler?"

Gotta say...it's not as easy as it looks. To seem to be working on your work-work (that for which you get a monthly paycheque) and actually be surfing the various sites supporting your newest personal project or all those detailing a blow-by-blow description of Paris Hilton's ins-and-outs from prison. I've also been idly surfing my text messages and getting rid of old ones...checking my hotmail inbox incessently, listening to my old voicemails and finally posting to my blog again! All the aforementioned activities are especially hard to do when you share a small, often humid office with 2 other people. Cause you cannot (or at least I feel I cannot) work fully on your personal administration just in case someone quickly comes over to look at what you are doing (especially if that someone is the boss) or scans your screen as they get up to go to the bathroom...it's ok to idly be looking at gossip websites (or in the case of my office mates the cbc news or the latest conspiracy run amock in Germany) every once in a while to take a break from work-work, but to actually be working on something else seems wrong - would be perceived as wrong.

So the day invariably ends up being wasteful - for you and the company you work for...you get lazy - cause you're bored and end up neither creating more work-work projects or doing the many on your own personal to-do list when you get home, as you are literally exhausted from all the time wasting you did that day.

This week I have been doing a boatload of wasting time. Really, I have done all the work-work I can, even extra stuff. Is it my fault that there is no work for me to do at the moment? I think not. Shouldn't that be a manager's problem? I am really a responsible person and very conscientious - but I actually don't feel all that bad about all the time wasting I have accomplished. There! That's it! It IS an accomplishment - phew! I have not been wasting my time...I have simply been propogating the office environment - to break the continuum with the admission of time wasting would help no one. THANK GOD! 2.5 hours and counting to the weekend...

LA #3...and scene.

Sooo nothing makes you forget a great getaway like this giant sheet of grey we've got covering us and smothering us right here in good ol' VAN. LA now seems like a distant dream...and yet I feel obliged to finish off my travelogue..so let me use bullet points:

• Sunday was hard...A hangover and the start of my transformation into Will Smith from Hitch - but we made it to the Alley -teeming with populace and kinda scary if you're not used to crowds...I was not going away empty handed and 2 pairs of Dior knock-offs made it into my possession for $10!
  
  
• A cruise in our ride for the weekend (our Chevy Malibu in grandfather tan...provided by I's sister as a birthday gift to I-- and me here thinking I could do LA without a car...well, I could have but it would have been a very different trip where no heels would have been permitted and I never travel without heels) through the Hollywood hills, along Mulholland Drive and out past the Beverly Hills Hotel and then over to Whole Foods to stock up on our Oscar meal and snacks...do not get the crab dip there!
  
  
• Watched the pre-show and show at home...and frankly not only do I blame my cold and the unwashed masses of the Alley for my eye infection but the longest Oscar telecast in the history of my watching the Oscars...no wonder puss started ooozzzing out of my eye!
  
  
• Nothing could stop me from trying to spy the stars though so we zipped up and headed to the Vanity Fair party with cameras in hand - at the right is my best handywork although my friend did get a great one of Penelope Cruz and her cleavage! SEND ME THE PIC!!!! Others who came over to sign and shake hands were random B-C list film and TV stars and- JLo and Marc - I guess the latino contingent wants to keep it real, heh? or at least act like they are...and I know, I know, Penelope is not latino, or from Mexico for that matter...neither am I...but it helps to racial profile sometimes;-)
  
  
• Monday was LA highway day - avoiding a five-car pile-up in the merging lane thanx to I having 'both hands on the wheel' ...we arrived at the Getty to find it closed!!!!! Yes, closed. Ok, it does say that they are closed on Mondays on their website, but it is not by any means obvious! so.....they have the Getty Villa in Malibu for the losers like us who do not pay attention to the fine print - which is like a roman villa with outdoor greek and roman sculpture and some travelling exhibits. OK, my museum fix was somewhat satisfied...and they had an exhibit on Tunisian Mosaics. I happen to like the medium given my people also make a mean mosaic.



• Santa Monica for window shopping, lunch, Fred Segals, and a walk along the beachfront including Venice Beach where I managed to get a last minute pair of white pumps the likes of which I have been looking for and coveting for a while now...with the peekaboo crochet on the side....will obviously have to wait a while before I trott them out in Vancouver.



• Anyhow....we returned the Malibu and gas ended up being $8 US each WTF??? Crazy, I know, I swear if it wasn't for the plane ticket this trip was almost free!



• Thanx to my friends for hosting, I for the itinerary and Holloywood for being so Hoff!!! ooooo - I took a picture on top of David HasselHoff...in a drunken orgasmic daze...lying down on Hollywood Boulevard....I know, kinda gross...not gonna post it, wouldn't be prudent...Johnny Depp was close by though for good measure.



• AND SCENE.

LA -part deux...and there's still more!?!

Soooo Koi was foodie heaven!!! deep fried soft-shell crab, tuna sashimi to die for, sauteed eggplant extraordinaire!! It was all good and so was my wine - no idea what kind..(we all took turns buying rounds) but let me tell you it was waaaayyy over the usual piddly 6-8oz pour you get here. My friends martini was overflowing, but that's OK, 'cause at Koi an unobtrusive staff member wisks in and wipes up the mess at your feet and you don't even notice - like a stagehand changing a set (both dressed in barely visible all-black uniform). Great food, great conversation and some of my favourite people in the world to share it with - definitely one of the highlights of the trip.

Off to the Marmont, where due to I cancelling our reso and the fact that they were still seating dinner at 12:30am - we were denied!! Fine, was not to be....next time maybe...we also had invites to a birthday gathering that provided the desert for the evening - these cupcakes were so good G had to take the address label off the cupcake box for future reference...large ceilings - looked like a brewery - dark leather...packed...my memories are getting fuzzy at this stage but I do know we did not stay long...and off to our random club it was...hopped in another taxi and we thought he was taking us for a ride but it was probably that the streets were all closed around the Kodak...upon arrival, we were greeted as the 'Canadians', got VIP wristbands slapped on us and were shuttled up some stairs inside - here's the DL on the club:

Montmartre Lounge/Day After

Since opening in November 2004 with a secret show by The Killers, this sleek, modern boite has become a playground for young Hollywood pros and the celebrities they worship.Established in 1922, Montmartre Café is supposedly where the term "see and be seen" was coined. That motto still holds true for today's Montmartre Lounge, home to Leonardo DiCaprio's Aviator premiere party, Alicia Keys' Grammy after-party and more. Though the multi-roomed playpen is located on the opposite corner of the Hollywood & Highland complex, the Montmartre Lounge is hard to find: The front entrance is completely blacked out and the sign is an "ML" painted on the small, white awning. (Enter around the corner on Highland Avenue and climb the spectacular staircase to get inside.) Even on the colorful, candlelit balcony, which serves as an outdoor lounge and the path inside, the hustle and bustle of Hollywood Boulevard already feels miles away. Two lounges are decorated with brown velour couches, a VIP section is outfitted with white vinyl seats. On the large dance floor we once spied Efren Ramirez, who played Pedro in Napoleon Dynamite, showing off his theatrical dance moves to 50 Cent. —Alexandra Le Tellier

SO, basically we killed it!!! Again, planning in advance pays...a little e-mail to the promoters list to say we were down for the Oscars, and voila! No stars to spy...and the crowd was quite young but the music was A-list and we shook until the lights came up! ....and then...more food of course - to soak up the alcohol at the jewish deli - Canter's on Fairfax around the corner from our friends place in west Hollywood where I gave a resounding performance of a dolphin or was it a seal on crack...caught for posterity on I's video feature on the digital camera...it cracks me up every time I see it - you had to be there, I guess.

resto review

In case anyone is actually following my sometimes topical, sometimes stream of consciousness banter...I thought I would follow-up on a few promises:

First - a review of Crave Restaurant - Well we were there on Valentines night, and while the teeny tiny bar was packed on arrival, it was by no means couple-full - more groups like us.

(I was there first, after 20 minutes of trying to find parking - fyi - east side of Main Street there is under construction so no parking there...although my friends seem to have found parking very near no problem) I engaged in chit-chat with a lady who was taking herself out for a VD drink...and we were seated 20 minutes or so after our scheduled time - no problem as by that time the bar had cleared and we were content to catch up with our own chit-chat.

Shared appetizers of nachos and a tempura tuna roll - if I could have all my sushi deep-fried from now on - please and thank-you. The nachos were good, but not mouth-wateringly great. Then, still not content to limit myself to one entree - I shared the buttermilk chicken cobb salad and the ribs and fries with the birthday girl. Gotta say -both were great - especially the meat portions - and because I am definitely a 'salty' over 'sweet' anyday kind of girl - these were particularly satisfying. This was all accompanied by 2 bottles of Dragonfly? Dragonbull??? a very reasonably priced Australian Zin - which I will definitley look out for on our liquor store shelves in the future. Great pairing with our entree choices - full-bodied but not overwhelming...very heavy yet silky on the tongue with absolutely no aftertaste!

And the fact that I mention our waitress at the end is due to the fact that she was everything a waitress should be - attentive without being obtrusive; knowledgeable without being know-it-all and efficient without being crass - no one likes their plate cleared before they're done;-)

This was finished by some cupcakes we smuggled in - a Beaver Birthday tradition...and we waved goodbye with a rousing chorus of thank you's to the chef, Wayne Martin. Ushered out into the cold rainy night - full and sated - Happy Valentines Day indeed.

The culture gods

Okay so I had to steal yesterdays front page of the Review section of the Globe and Mail at my one of 3 coffee shops near the office...and not because Justin Timberlake was on the cover re: his concert 2 nights ago in TO (who cares that it was his birthday yesterday, like, every radio station had that as an announcement) but I digress...it was because of this article:

http://www.theglobeandmail.com/servlet/story/RTGAM.20070201.wmuseums01/BNStory/Entertainment/home
I find this article at once alarming, hilarious and totally hypocritical...Three issues to discuss

1. While other mid to large cities or small communities struggle to provide services and venues for their cultural offerings...Abu Dhabi is building a cultural Disneyland to shed its perceived associations with terrorism. WTH?

2. And the Canadian firm fronting the plans are well known globally and locally – they are experts in their field and have established many benchmarks in cultural and museum planning. They work all over the world on multi-million dollar projects all the time. I wonder then how they can justify paying educated, creative and student-loan strapped individuals on their staff less than it requires to live modestly in a metropolitan city and then ask them ‘You don’t have a dog to go home to at night or anything, do you?’ – i.e. you are in for some long underpaid hours and you better like them. As rewarding as the work may at times be, anyone can tire of being underpaid and underappreciated. And I am talking shockingly so….which leads me to:

3. I often wonder about the gap in salary that Master’s degrees can offer…I have a friend who works long hours, she is not passionate about the work, but she makes 6 figures and travels a dozen times a year for pleasure while those with a congruent degree struggle to make ends meet at a job that they feel makes a difference, and that they began with passion. As long as employers and the economy continue to undervalue liberal arts degrees, we will continue to get underpaid while the MBA’s and LLB’s of the world toil at what they hate but gain an enormous and disproportionate amount of the ‘collective pot’.

Babies, babies everywhere…and because I should - the less I care

Before you read my tirade – I was not, am not and will not ever say – “I’ll never have kids” – that always gets you into trouble. No, I fully embrace the possibility that one day I could be a very happy mother of one or even two – but it's highly doubtful. Cause you see:

I was never one of those girls with the baby feeling, the gush over babies – “oohhh aren’t they cute – please let me hold them – I can’t wait to have my own” – girls. And the whole marriage and kids thing was never my thing – still isn’t. Not that I don’t want to get married ever – I do, in fact recently I found myself confirming the venue – the VAG for the reception – the beach for the ceremony – if I get married in Vancouver. But that is just a daydream that no emancipated woman is ever fully released from.

But back to the babies – at 32 even my “I’m going to be single for life-never having children’” friends are married and having children. And then there’s the Hollywood factor – everyone there is having babies as well. I mean if Hollywood stars are North America’s royalty... we aspire to be them right? Adoptions, C-Sections, in-vetro…I’m finding this are today’s main female topics of conversation over canapés and champagne? What happened to politics, art - the weather?

I mean I’ll admit I love to gawk at shots of the Jolie-Pitts on vacation as well but that’s because most families don’t choose to birth a child in luxury in Namibia and vacation in Vietnam all in between shooting films, attending gallery openings and walking the red carpet. Hey, if I had as much money as the Jolie-Pitts, then I would adopt a whole soccer team as well. The fact is folks, not only is the maternal instinct mostly absent, but I am nothing if not practical.

I CANNOT AFFORD TO HAVE A CHILD. I cannot afford to have a latte every morning, never mind think about buying strollers, car seats and cribs –unh-uh. Hey, if it was that easy, I’d quit my job right now and maybe I’d have a kid – cause at least it would give me something to do, fill my days, make me feel like I had a real ‘purpose’ in life – perhaps the reason many women have children. Oops, did I say that out loud?

But no, I have to keep looking for real passion in life – that I know can really only be found by me. That passion is not a baby and not even a man. I’ve been too busy pursuing my life’s passion to think about babies. And when that dream only kept me in Kraft dinners and basic cable, I put that on the backburner to get a graduate degree that I’ll be paying off for the next 10 years of my life while I contribute to the betterment of culture and heritage in BC.

But I digress, babies and lots of them! Twins seem to be a staple on the landscape as older women get on the baby train. I mean biologically fertility plummets after 27. There’s a 50% chance of getting pregnant after the age of 35, or some such number, that is if you and the sperm-donor are both healthy and accounted for to begin with. So, really I’m already halfway to infertility anyway.

Then there’s the energy sucking during the gestation period, which, even for my friend who had no side effects, was her only side effect. The preparation of the lining of the womb for new life - I mean I can sleep a good 14 hours with naps when I have my period – never mind if a fertilized egg was to actually attach itself to the blood-rich lining formed every month and continue to grow! And people wonder why the f&ck you’re tired and cranky. “Well, biologically my body thought I was going to foster a new life so extra nutrients are sucked from my normal body functions to prepare for this physiological miracle and when it doesn’t happen, I spend several days bleeding, wouldn’t you be a teeny bit cranky and tired?”

And the time – can you imagine? There is no more time for yourself – that is it, done. No, no –DONE! It is the first thing you think about and the last thing you worry about. I can barely get to my to-do list as it is. I mean I guess the first year I would catch up on all the daytime television I’ve missed while working full time – days full of Ellen and Oprah with a little Regis and Kelly is what I call a little but of ‘all right’. On the other hand, there’s no getting any sleep at night, but I am a night owl anyway…BUT after that it is all downhill. There’s practices to drive them to and teachers conferences to attend, sleepovers to chaperone and meals to cook. I haven’t found time to do my 2005 taxes yet, never mind spending my weekends potty training and on the soccer pitch – unless I get ‘paid’ to do so like Katie Holmes.

There is also the parental equality factor. We can say ‘We’ve come a long way baby’, but the woman is still expected to and often voluntarily does do much more than half the workload - she takes the year off, she gets up at night and she still is the first one expected to do the household chores. Now, don’t get me wrong, I’m pretty anal about how the dishes are washed and where everything goes – but you can do the laundry, clean the toilet and dust and vacuum to your hearts content! I do know people who share parenting – in fact, a model couple, but they are the exception to the rule and if my co-parent was not at least 50/50 if not 70/30 in my favour, I would never, ever be able to live with him, never mind the kid.

So ladies – go ahead – procreate! Use every method possible, you can even tell me about it and I will buy you shower gifts and remark upon how cute the babies are – but they are yours. I am not envious, there is no pull of the heartstrings, and there is no clock ticking.

Only the tick-tock of the dream clock. Still lots of those to birth.

culturalcruise, 2006

Gentrifying 'Skids-Ville' Or the Little Neighbourhoods that Could!

You know the story, that neighbourhood you would never move to but usually has that one shop/café/book store that you always keep going back to for that particular something you cannot do without or cannot find anywhere else –for that cheap. You always go with friends and always during daylight hours…and every time you go back you see another brave business going in amongst the crack-house donut shops, Money Marts and day and night ‘working girl’ strip of sidewalk, hoping their pioneering spirit will inspire other homesteaders. Slowly but surely, a friend of a friend rents a warehouse space near there to which you are invited to a gallery opening and/or theatrical happening at…then an actual cute dress shop opens up or a brunch place with retro fitted chairs; killer eggs and wine served in tumblers that remind you of that trip to Europe…and then it’s all over.

Before you can blink and realize that this hood is ‘the new black’ you can’t afford rent never mind actually buying property in your old ‘crackwhore hood’ and you’re waiting at the bar for a table on the patio with people who wouldn’t have been seen dead anywhere near the place 2 years ago. It’s the Meat Packing District syndrome – ghetto chic…it’s chic all right, but the ghetto has a gotten a diehard glaze job. Our latest Meat Packing district incarnations: Main Street here (SOMA) between 30th all the way to the Skytrain station; West Queen West in T.O. –west of Bathurst and on past Dufferin. Both areas your suburban and/or elite-locale city friends would not think to ‘hang’ in until that restaurant write up gets into not only the Straight / Westender / Now and Eye but the pages of the Globe and Mail as well as The National Post – “it” places have no real political boundaries.

How does all this happen seemingly overnight? Well, it doesn’t happen as fast as you think it does – the transformation usually starts out real slow at first over a period of 2-3 years even and then one day the “gentrification alteration” explodes with the backing of designer interiors; well known investors and grandma’s best linens/shoes/recipes. So where there was once a no-mans land of dodgy businesses there is now door upon door of window-shopping and bar hopping. Let us take our Vancouver Main Street strip – condensed between Broadway and King Edward/25th Avenue where the main attractions used to be the 7-Eleven, Mount Pleasant Library and good old Helen’s Grill, there is now a plethora of cool consignment stores, little bar/bistros and galleries/artist run centres. From the fabulous vintage finds available at Front & Company and Burcus’ Angels, to the cool cocktails served at Public lounge and Monsoon, you can actually spend an evening out in the Mount Pleasant area complete with a gallery opening at Western Front or grunt gallery.

Conversely, when I moved to Toronto’s Queen and Ossington area in 2001, I was way too west! Not cool – in fact when people weren’t sure where that was I’d say “near the mental health centre” and they’d screw up their faces into a kind of sympathy/horror expression that came from knowing I cycled by the mentally unwell and past-their-prime working girls every evening before arriving at my doorstep. Between the shooting and stabbing incidents at the various “karaoke” bars along Ossington and the fabulous offers I got from the day patients, I was really thinking that the Portuguese fish shops and bakeries up on Dundas Street were not compensating.

And then came Studio Gang – a brave lady and her scissors, the first real sign that the chic were indeed coming – eventually. The designer owned and operated clothing store braved it out until first the galleries, and then the neighbourhood pubs like the Crooked Star and Sweaty Betty’s took hold of Ossington – still leaving it ghetto-ish but with small businesses that actually provided what they advertised in their windows and didn’t operate as fronts for more colourful endeavours. This effect soon spilled out onto Queen Street making the area in and around the mental health centre the current place to see and be seen replete with bar after gallery after retro clothing store.

Just as I had a feeling my beloved Historic Mount Pleasant of my youth would grow into something grand once again, I knew there was a greater power that had pulled me west of retro cool Queen Street – the new cool – the Art + Design District. Yeah, they owe me one.

© culturalcruise, 2005

Romanticizing the Written Word - One Woman's Search for Mr.Right 'Now'?

Lavalife, Plenty of Fish, Lifemates, perfect match – What do all these catch phrases have in common? The lure of the perfect mate, just behind that finely crafted online profile and ‘just right’ photo they’re there! Or at the very least there lies a perfect meal in your future – perhaps mango butterfly shrimp over a glass of pinot gris and scintillating conversation. Or maybe it’s more like your each holding your own latte at a strip mall in Guilford thinking ‘…if I re-heat that rice, I could have it with the chicken from Thursday for dinner’. Who knows? I’m just saying.

I’m trying hard to break my stereotype as I look for possible mates in cyberspace. I now grudgingly admit that I sort of have one. Only by virtue of not admitting I have one, do I end up falling into the trap of dating the same type of guy over and over again. He’s hard to describe, although many are able to point him out from a great distance, others, like myself are blind to the signs… I tell myself that this time he’s not the same because of one inherent difference, usually something superficial like a job, a house or a car – i.e. if he has any of those 3 he’s already stepped up several rungs on my dating ladder. But if I’m honest with myself I know deep down that he’s the same laid back, nonchalant, pseudo-intellectual, fall-into-things, record playing, moccasin wearing kind of guy I’ve often dated who commits to nothing but criticizes everything.

Take Bachelor #1 for example – cool job, cool place (albeit far from being fully furnished, but add that to my list of ‘usuals’) and cool interests – many of them bang on with my own…sense of humour: sarcastic and glib –nice, like that. Communication over the last month and a half has been fairly constant although mostly via
e-mail and we’ve totaled 3 dates. So, does he ‘really like me’ or just my fishnets – I still have no clue. Girlfriend, see Oprah and Sex in the City, Season 5 re: He’s Just Not That into You.
I know, I know, but it’s an inherent female gene to analyze and if your best male gay friend says that’s normal straight man behaviour for a guy who likes a girl you tend to hang on for more.

But if there are nipple clamps and a brand new never opened toothbrush, neither of which he’s using that evening, are you closing your eyes to the glaringly obvious artifacts of a gigolo? Albeit, a gigolo who likes ‘romantic surprises at the office and reading a good book’ but a gigolo nonetheless?

Bachelor #2 is a fairly recent addition but an interesting and I would say positive departure from my norm. He meets and surpasses all the major criteria of house, job, car, but of course lacks all the creative introspectiveness I imagine I’m so fond of. I fear he may not be as internationally savvy as I am – but that’s not necessarily a bad thing is it? He’s nice! You know, nice? He called the next day to say he had had a great time and we’ve chatted on the phone thrice already – I’m pretty sure that’s how many times I’ve chatted with Bachelor #1, including voicemail, and I’ve known him three times as long!!

But then, even though I’m currently living in the burbs, I am a city gal at heart, and hope to move back there as soon as financially viable and Bachelor #2 is soooo burbs. With Bachelor #2
I have visions of walking my 1.5 children down our long big suburb house walkway and entering my fabulous 5 bedroom + ‘single’ family dwelling with my perfectly manicured fake lawn and I’m screaming inside for a little walk-up flat with retro furnishings where I sit on the authentic hardwood floor sipping wine with friends while my man reads from his new novel…

Scenario #1 may be some women’s dream but scenario #2 is more like mine…I just don’t know which online category or site to pick him from. All is not as it seems on the internet: you categorize yourself; check the appropriate boxes and fill in the relevant templates for whom you’d like to meet, and how you want people to see you – the problem is are others really putting their real selves in the appropriate category?
Are you? Your new cybermate can match all your ‘criteria’ and still end up not being what you want them to be…

I wonder if I can inch Bachelor #1 more into #2’s template or more likely vice-versa…oh- and I forgot to tell you about Bachelor #3. Ooops!

Log off.

© culturalcruise, 2005